GROUNDHOG DAY.

Groundhogs everywhere agree: six more weeks of winter! Giddy up.

Now tell me, crazies from PETA, how would we get such an accurate prediction about the forthcoming winter months if we used a mechanical groundhog? Eh? Can a machine see its shadow and scurry back into its hole? No.

It would be a lie! A clever little computer program, probably based around the Weather network's forecast, instead of the trusty mysticism and intuition of a fat and cute rodent.

Plus Wiarton Willy totally luuuubbbs his job. He sits around with a feeling of emptiness all year until February 2nd when he gets his chance to shine. Do you guys really want to be the ones to take that away from him? Hmmm?


ps. Better watch who you decide to pie in the face while you're in Canada, lest you be labeled a terrorist.

Viva La Face

Hey I forgot I did song of the weekish. So I have changed it, after a bizillion years of it being the same songs.

Two covers this random time period: Lady Gaga doing Coldplay's Viva La Vida and Poker Face as done by Mika.

I forgot about Mika for a while. I put on his tunes this weekend and suddenly remembered how thoroughly I enjoy prancing about the house singing his songs.

Gaga's there because I went to a drag show (well.... I was in it, actually, all suited up, looking like I was straight out of the '20s. Or I guess gay out of the '20s. bahahaa.) and I was reminded of her since my friend's costume was Gaga inspired in that she was a faux-queen. Meaning basically that my friend who is a girl was dressed up as a drag queen, but she's not a drag queen since she's not a dude to begin with.


ps. I won the drag show, singing Patricia the Stripper by Chris de Burgh. One hundred dollars and mad respect from a multitude of queens was my prize.

pps. Have you noticed how the tags "I fail" and "song of the week" always come together? huh....

this may indeed work

Wowsa I honestly do not remember writing that previous post. I must have been on a serious caffeine high.

Anyway. 20 10 is shaping up to maybe - but I don't wanna jinx it - perhaps, tentatively be wickedly better than '09. Or '08 for that matter. I think this may have something to do with me finally learning how to be a human being. And I don't mean conforming, I just mean I've learned to be me, a person, in my way.

And because of that, I be myself, around people. Around other humans.... It's a good time.


It's a really good time, actually.

I think I may be in love.

Hey you. Ya. You.

Dear Life,

Stop getting in the way of my blogge posting. My fans (choke. cynical cackle) would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you and warm regards,

NotAlice

F-f-f-fuck it's c-c-cold.

The whole university is an ice box. What is this?

Either they've not paid their heating bills or I for some reason am feeling the cold more than usual.

Come to think of it, my house seems colder too.

Geez nobody is paying their bills these days.

At the stroke of midnight, my carriage turned into a bus.

Hello world! Happy Christmas and merry merry New Year to all! It is twenty ten [note: NOT two thousand and ten.... imagine how much of your life would be wasted saying all those extra syllables. Don't do it, it ain't worth it] in case you have been asleep for the past three days. Which I don't doubt some people have been doing.

Like one girl I spent New Years with. If I was her, I'd sleep for a long time. It takes a lot of energy to puke as much as she did.

And on that note, guess where I was on the stroke of midnight? Not where I was supposed to be, I'll tell you that....

I was in a shopping mall hallway,* in front of a bench containing a very very severely drunk girl propped up between two somewhat intoxicated guys and a girl fervently trying to keep el drunko awake by reciting to her eight years worth of stories about their friendship. Next to me stood the only completely sober person among us, with a scowl on her face, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Somewhere in the background was a random high school girl who, unlike the other people prowling about the halls, seemed drawn to our predicament, and despite the puke, felt she should pitch in by offering us a band aid and saying how cool our names were. She also fetched toilet paper. She was a very nice person.

So that's where I was, my unused new years club party ticket folded in my pocket, where it shall remain forever reminding me of the wasted $25 I spent on it. Bumms.

It could have been worse, we could have still been in the washroom at midnight, sitting on the vomit covered floor with drunk girl, but we managed to hoist her out of there with ten minutes to spare. But only after she managed to keel over like a piece of timber, bringing one of the people holding her up crashing to the floor with her. And only after she'd banged her head several times on the faucet, turned the motion sensor tap on with her arm, spraying me with a faceful of water, and tore her tights in many places.

None of us had a clock with a second hand on it, so when my cell phone said 11:59, we waited a bit and tried to do a count down from ten, but it was still 11:59 when we got to 1. So we just waited another 17 seconds and screamed "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" and hugged everyone who didn't have bile on them.

Don't get me wrong, I did have fun. Though it involved a lot less dancing and a lot more regurgitated food than I had anticipated.

The sad thing (not the only one, obviously) is, all the drunkeness was caused by her pre-drink. We got her all the way downtown only to turn around and get a bus back home. And another sad thing is I just met the girl that night and I'm afraid she thinks I hate her now, which I don't... in fact she made an excellent first impression until her slurred words turned into passing out. And even then, I was laughing most of the time anyhow.

I have to say though, the most disappointing part of the whole night was after we got back to the house and I went with the boys to the 24 hour McDick's and it was closed. I was craving nuggets soooo bad. It even had a neon "Open" sign turned on in the window, just to make us even more pissed and confused.

Yup. I was forced to settle for chips from the gas station.

I also made sangria before we left for the club. It was o so tasty.


Later gator.



*The hallways stay open to link two major bus stops together.

Things!

If I was a disembodied voice I would be Morgan Freeman's voice.

Hello, it's the voice of God. No contest.





The days are all melding together in a cough riddled haze. I finished exams and WHAM - sickness. Uggghhh!