And this little piggy went weeweewee and killed us. All.

O MY GIDDY GOD. I think we're all doomed. DOOOOOMED!

I say. Doomed.

Swine flu will kill us all. I fully believe this because the media tells me so. I mean if they are telling me every five seconds that swine flu is running rampant through the world, unchecked, killing all in its path, then I should definitely not question that. No sir. No questions asked.

It is the present day Black Death. Yes indeedy. It's the PLAGUE. Run. Stay away from swine. DO NOT eat bacon for God's sake. If you do, you may in fact, turn into a pig. And then you will get shunned because you will BE the swine flu. Don't let those evil pigs cough on you either. They are out to get us, but due to their lack of opposable thumbs, they can't strangle us in our sleep and have to resort to coughing us to death!

And there are allegedly pieces of the bird flu in the swine flu concoction. So stay away from the damn birds too. In fact, just stay away from everything. Stay in your house, alone, and to be extra safe, wrap yourself in saran wrap, put on rubber gloves, and a face mask. If you don't have to move, don't. Moving just stirs up germs and makes them airborne.

And OMG there may be pieces of human flu in the swine flu. Mutant human genes. Crazy Wolverine type shit going down in this flu. We are soon going to have mutant pigs running around on their hind legs trying to form a government and then what will we do? WHO KNOWS!? it's time to panic. That is all we have left. PANIC.

God help you if you ever sneeze. An angry, disease-threatened mob will hunt you down and beat you. So just don't do it.



We are doomed. Don't try and fight it.