Songs from the North.

Ok so Song of the Arbitrary Amount of Time is The Cheapest Key by Kathleen Edwards. I liked this song the very first time I heard it on CBC Radio 3. It's a tune that in-beds itself in your brain. and you're glad it did.

This lady seems like she would be a hilarious person to know. And I'm pretty sure she is a Neil Young fan - which, obviously means she has sublime taste.

And Imma throw in a song that is currently - and has on and off since last year's Juno Awards, when I heard it for the first time - causing me to burst out in fits of singing. Little Bit of Red by Serena Ryder. Sooooo goooooood. Ryder has a bit of a Melissa Etheridge sounding voice, but distinct. I imagine from the sound of her singing that she must have a marvelous laugh. A bit throaty, not high pitched, but not monotonous.... just riddled with character.

Plus I love the line "come here, I'm gonna smear another colour over you." The lyrics are sweet, and I'm quite partial to a rhyme..... but it's really the delivery of this phrase that is just perfect. Like she's squeezing 'here' and 'smear' out of her throat and then just letting the rest of the words bubble forth.... Just listen to it.

So there y'are. Two lovely Canadian ladies and a sampling of their music.

Ok now enough of this procrastination. I haz studyin' to be did. So ver ver much so. Teh whole of the Medieval times in England worth of studying.

ps.

I am writing gratuitous amounts of uninteresting posts in an effort to legitimate the fact that I am not studying.

I think it is working.

Hello.

I have a job.

I'm almost done school.

I got a B+ on my last reporting assignment, because I handed it in late. But my Prof said it was A worthy. Some comfort that is, when I'm trying to gain back my fucking scholarship.

I have four exams coming up, all of which I am not in the least bit ready for.

I am seeing a girl who thinks I'm the bees knees.

I am moving out of the house in August. Oddly enough, my dad is going to beat me to the punch.

I'm fucking tired.

That is all.

Whine and Cheese.

I envy people who know what they want. From themselves, from other people, from life.... and they just go for it.

I wish I knew more often what it is that I want. When I think about all the times I've thought to myself "o dear me, how nice would it be to be in a relationship" I do two things:
1) I have to wonder if it is a relationship I want, or am I just infatuated with the romantic idea?
2) I gag a little.

So now, I am somewhat perched on the brink of something that could turn into a relationship, and I have that familiar creeping feeling of doubt telling me I should just run away a bit. Make my sorry excuses and part ways. Because really, any further and expectation kicks in. She's going to want me to feel the same way she feels. You know?

And how can I know if I'll be able to match her, emotion for emotion, want for want, if I don't even know how to respond to her when she tells me something like "I kinda have a severe crush on you.... and that's good.... but what if it backfires on me?" I know she wants some sort of reassurance about how I feel, but suddenly I became a mute. Or when she says "Do you have any expectations or anything?" and I just play dumb and inarticulate (generally quite an effective tactic).

What do I want? I don't know. She seems to know what she wants. And that's rather irritating.

When someone tells you they want to see you all the time, and they think about that all the time, and you're hearing them, but you don't feel quite the same, what is the appropriate response? I went with silence. Well actually, a nervous giggle and then silence. It is, I think, at least more tactful than being truthful, and less guilt-inducing than lying. So, overall a solid choice. Maybe.

I think I need to work more on my communication skills.

I told myself "no running away blindly this time." I told myself I may as well try out being somebody's somebody for a while, because I haven't anything to lose, really. But that doesn't change the fact that I am freaking out, quietly.

I'm whining, I know. Sorry.

Sometimes, people feel like ropes. I start thinking of Gulliver, on his travels, among the Lilliputians, getting tied down with threads. That's a kind of awful analogy, because I know loads of people are just fine with relationships, and love them and so on. And they don't think they're roped up at all.

But that's not even it. If I knew exactly what my issue was, I could solve it. hmmm.

I think part of my problem might have something to do with someone liking me more than I like them. Might be a control thing.

meh.

WHAT?!

O god. I haven't written since February?

I am shamed.

Right now I'm in media law class, where I learn how to not get sued in my future career as journalist extraorindaire. And how to get out of it, should i still get sued. Hopefully. I think if I get an A in this class, they oughta make me an honourary lawyer.

Anyways, what's new with me?.... not much. I didn't do a thing for reading week, not even read. I was briefly in a band, but then the other half moved to Toronto (shake fist at Toronto). I've mostly been running around for various reporting class assignments, trying not to fail, looking for sources, chasing quotes, learning the value of not procrastinating (but never actually putting that knowledge into practice), and trying every so often to breathe a little.

O and Glee is having an internet casting call. So Imma try out. Not that I think I'll make it, as I'm rather short for television, and the camera only adds pounds, not centimeters, but I shall do it anyways. I'm going to wear a tux and sing Don't Rain on My Parade.

GROUNDHOG DAY.

Groundhogs everywhere agree: six more weeks of winter! Giddy up.

Now tell me, crazies from PETA, how would we get such an accurate prediction about the forthcoming winter months if we used a mechanical groundhog? Eh? Can a machine see its shadow and scurry back into its hole? No.

It would be a lie! A clever little computer program, probably based around the Weather network's forecast, instead of the trusty mysticism and intuition of a fat and cute rodent.

Plus Wiarton Willy totally luuuubbbs his job. He sits around with a feeling of emptiness all year until February 2nd when he gets his chance to shine. Do you guys really want to be the ones to take that away from him? Hmmm?


ps. Better watch who you decide to pie in the face while you're in Canada, lest you be labeled a terrorist.

Viva La Face

Hey I forgot I did song of the weekish. So I have changed it, after a bizillion years of it being the same songs.

Two covers this random time period: Lady Gaga doing Coldplay's Viva La Vida and Poker Face as done by Mika.

I forgot about Mika for a while. I put on his tunes this weekend and suddenly remembered how thoroughly I enjoy prancing about the house singing his songs.

Gaga's there because I went to a drag show (well.... I was in it, actually, all suited up, looking like I was straight out of the '20s. Or I guess gay out of the '20s. bahahaa.) and I was reminded of her since my friend's costume was Gaga inspired in that she was a faux-queen. Meaning basically that my friend who is a girl was dressed up as a drag queen, but she's not a drag queen since she's not a dude to begin with.


ps. I won the drag show, singing Patricia the Stripper by Chris de Burgh. One hundred dollars and mad respect from a multitude of queens was my prize.

pps. Have you noticed how the tags "I fail" and "song of the week" always come together? huh....

this may indeed work

Wowsa I honestly do not remember writing that previous post. I must have been on a serious caffeine high.

Anyway. 20 10 is shaping up to maybe - but I don't wanna jinx it - perhaps, tentatively be wickedly better than '09. Or '08 for that matter. I think this may have something to do with me finally learning how to be a human being. And I don't mean conforming, I just mean I've learned to be me, a person, in my way.

And because of that, I be myself, around people. Around other humans.... It's a good time.


It's a really good time, actually.

I think I may be in love.

Hey you. Ya. You.

Dear Life,

Stop getting in the way of my blogge posting. My fans (choke. cynical cackle) would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you and warm regards,

NotAlice

F-f-f-fuck it's c-c-cold.

The whole university is an ice box. What is this?

Either they've not paid their heating bills or I for some reason am feeling the cold more than usual.

Come to think of it, my house seems colder too.

Geez nobody is paying their bills these days.

At the stroke of midnight, my carriage turned into a bus.

Hello world! Happy Christmas and merry merry New Year to all! It is twenty ten [note: NOT two thousand and ten.... imagine how much of your life would be wasted saying all those extra syllables. Don't do it, it ain't worth it] in case you have been asleep for the past three days. Which I don't doubt some people have been doing.

Like one girl I spent New Years with. If I was her, I'd sleep for a long time. It takes a lot of energy to puke as much as she did.

And on that note, guess where I was on the stroke of midnight? Not where I was supposed to be, I'll tell you that....

I was in a shopping mall hallway,* in front of a bench containing a very very severely drunk girl propped up between two somewhat intoxicated guys and a girl fervently trying to keep el drunko awake by reciting to her eight years worth of stories about their friendship. Next to me stood the only completely sober person among us, with a scowl on her face, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Somewhere in the background was a random high school girl who, unlike the other people prowling about the halls, seemed drawn to our predicament, and despite the puke, felt she should pitch in by offering us a band aid and saying how cool our names were. She also fetched toilet paper. She was a very nice person.

So that's where I was, my unused new years club party ticket folded in my pocket, where it shall remain forever reminding me of the wasted $25 I spent on it. Bumms.

It could have been worse, we could have still been in the washroom at midnight, sitting on the vomit covered floor with drunk girl, but we managed to hoist her out of there with ten minutes to spare. But only after she managed to keel over like a piece of timber, bringing one of the people holding her up crashing to the floor with her. And only after she'd banged her head several times on the faucet, turned the motion sensor tap on with her arm, spraying me with a faceful of water, and tore her tights in many places.

None of us had a clock with a second hand on it, so when my cell phone said 11:59, we waited a bit and tried to do a count down from ten, but it was still 11:59 when we got to 1. So we just waited another 17 seconds and screamed "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" and hugged everyone who didn't have bile on them.

Don't get me wrong, I did have fun. Though it involved a lot less dancing and a lot more regurgitated food than I had anticipated.

The sad thing (not the only one, obviously) is, all the drunkeness was caused by her pre-drink. We got her all the way downtown only to turn around and get a bus back home. And another sad thing is I just met the girl that night and I'm afraid she thinks I hate her now, which I don't... in fact she made an excellent first impression until her slurred words turned into passing out. And even then, I was laughing most of the time anyhow.

I have to say though, the most disappointing part of the whole night was after we got back to the house and I went with the boys to the 24 hour McDick's and it was closed. I was craving nuggets soooo bad. It even had a neon "Open" sign turned on in the window, just to make us even more pissed and confused.

Yup. I was forced to settle for chips from the gas station.

I also made sangria before we left for the club. It was o so tasty.


Later gator.



*The hallways stay open to link two major bus stops together.