Alice is in the Building. RRRAAAAWWRRR

Don't judge me on this post. I'm drunkly.

It was my friend's birthday, and I recently implemented in my head a "No Sketchy Hull clubbing policy" which I broke tonight. Meaning, for all you non-Ottawans out their, that I told myself I'd never again cross over into Quebec, our neighbouring province with a lower and more reasonable drinking age, to go to a club. But I did. And it was full of icky icky people. Predominantly guys. But also with its share of slutty girls.

Basically, once you go into Hull, you are fair game to get groped by nasty 12 year old idiot boys who go to Quebec to get action because it is so very sketchy and actually lets them into the clubs despite the fact that they look nothing like their fake IDs. I quite literally had to peel men off me at every turn.....all I wanted to do was dance to some 'meh' type music, but I was interrupted constantly by an unwelcomed hand grabbing my ass and an arm circling my waist or, most disturbingly, a pelvis undulating against my thigh.

The guys there are exactly like un-neutered puppies.....just fuckin humping everything they see. I am never going back. I am getting a fake come hell or hellish water, and I'm staying in Ottawa. Fuck yes.

So at one point in the night, a dude who I went to high school with decised to by a 26 of Gray Goose (which put him back about a $104) which essentially bought him VIP status in the club. Seriously....he went over to sweet talk some ladies into aiding us in finishing the 26 and some dude came up to him and was all "Dude, bouce, these chicks are wit me yo." And a bouncer came up to my friend the VIP and said asked if that guy was trying to start shit, and if he was, they could totally get rid of him.

And now I'm shmammered. And I want shawarma soooo very badly. I was on the bus coming home, and someone on there had a shwarma wrap, and my nose was on high alert, searching the air for something to munch, and I nearly mugged them to steal only the wrap, so I could eat the inards.

I also decided I'm going to do a survey of the buses at 2:30 am to see what the ratio of drunk people to sober people is, becuase I'm pretty sure that absolutely nobody sober would step on a bus at tht ungodly hour. Really though, my bus coming home had barf splattered across the floor where a dude who had too much for his own good decided to puke out his night's escapades. I bet he drank less than I. I am rather tank, I must say.


doo doo doooooooooooooooo