Ketchup and Mustard.

You know what makes me angry? The news.

I may have mentioned this before, but I think it warrants being stated again: media are all too often just fear mongering pundits either seeking to be the lap dogs of the sitting government, or to be the personal critic to those in power. And when I say critic, I mean in the they-watch-their-every-move-for-nit-picky-things-they-can-call-them-out-on-like-what-they-put-on-their-burgers way, and not the watch-dog-pointing-out-relevant-flaws-in-the-way-they-govern way.

Take for instance the recent Obama burger ordering fandango. I mean, Dijon mustard for heaven's sake! For REALS? Is there nothing better that the news can waste their time talking about? Laura Ingrams like ripped him apart for *gasp* NOT PUTTING KETCHUP on his burger and opting for "elitist" type mustard! Is he even American if he doesn't get ketchup on it? And she was dead serious about it. She was appalled or something.

And what's really, painfully stupid is that the media reprimands Obama for going out to a burger joint for lunch with his ol' pally Joe, saying "O look, Obama looking for a photo op. He's trying to show he's just a regular guy, He's trying to show he's not elitist (and failing...Dijon mustard! Geeeez), he's blah blah blah...." But who is making this a photo op? Who is making it a big deal when it reeeeallly doesn't need to be? Who is turning a hunk of beef with mustard on it into the top story on the six o'clock news?

Dear Media, what you must realize, is that it takes two to tango, so to speak. When Obama gets a regular old cheddar cheese burger, it's not a story unless you make it one. SO DON'T. Fuck.

This is a trend I see mostly on American news, but I think it's unfortunately making its way into Canadian media as well. Bum and doubly so.


So ya. Journalism is looking like less and less of an appealing job these days. whatever. I think I could do my own thing. Work for a non-conglomerate, non-profit, non-American owned alternative media outlet perhaps. I think the point is moot anyways since I'm in all likelihood going to get the boot from the journalism program.

But I don't care. It's full of pretentious brown nosers anyways.

But I actually do care. I have no idea what else to do.

Maybs I'll take history.

But then my parents (both with chemistry backgrounds, one with a PhD and one with a Masters. I was kinda destined for sciences until I kicked destiny into a dumpster and chose Journalism) would really make fun of me. They already think that since I'm an "arts" student, they had it WAY harder than me and that half my credits are jokes. History would send them into a fit of alternating horror and laughter from which they would never recover, and I would never hear the end of.

I shall think more on this subject once I have actually been told if I am a failure or not. Gee I can't wait.

several useless comments

I have nothing much to say today. Just thought I'd say that. You know, to fill a line in an otherwise meaningless post.

I'm not sure what the point of my blogge is... I think - though I can't be sure - that it had one when I started it. But alas, the point seems to have evaporated and fluttered away on the wind like some sort of evaporating butterfly.

Could you imagine if there were such a thing as an evaporating butterfly? Would it also be able to condense? I suppose if it evaporated it would first have to melt... could it also sublimate? Hmmm... these are the fundamental questions of life people (I think I may have said that exact sentence about some entirely different set of questions once upon a time). I expect answers.


On this day in 1643, Louis XIV became the King of France. He was four.
Just thought you oughta know.

Here comes the bride.

I spent a lovely weekend with all the members of my insanely large family. Like really, all of them. We were all together because my aunt got married. It was very nice. My personal favourite part of the ceremony was when the lady who did the first reading stepped down from the lectern and knocked it over. Which knocked over a giant candle. Which fell through the air spilling wax all over the floor before it caught the bride's veil and brought her down too. The veil never came off her head though. Not with the buckets of hairspray and 87 thousand bobby pins they used to keep it on.

No one was hurt. But I did nearly have a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Which could have ended badly.

I think it all just added a certain flair of ridiculous hilarity to it all.

My cousins and I all decided that people in our family need to get married more often, because weddings are just so darn fun. If no one gets married in the reasonably near future, we're going to have a fake wedding. All the getting drunk and mad wedding dancing without any of the commitment. Sounds good, don't it?

BOOO.

Grandaddy Blackberry (aka Balsillie) is going to get jock-blocked by the NHL.

Fuck you Garry Bettman.

hockey in motion

Ok Jim Balsillie, third time's the charm, dude.

Balsillie is the CEO of Research In Motion and die hard Canadian hockey fan, and just made a bid to buy the bankrupt Phoenix Coyotes and move them to southern Ontario. After striking out while trying to acquire Pittsburgh and Nashville, he should definitely be successful this time. There are many reasons this deal should work out...

1) Phoenix stole the team from Winnipeg in the first place. Winnipeg has never been the same since.
2) Southern Ontario has a ridiculous percentage of Canada's population living there... more than enough to support another hockey team. Personnally, I think southern Ontario is filled with many many whiners who believe they live at the centre of the universe *cough Toronto cough* but that doesn't change the fact that it is strategically a great place for a team.
3) Umm.... Phoenix? Seriously, who picked that city in the first place?
4) Canada only has six teams. Duh we should have more.
5) Balsillie seemed so darn excited in the press conference, I think he might cry if he doesn't get this team.

Hell, if I had $212.5 million kicking around, I'd buy them myself. I also wouldn't be job hunting like a maniac to make money so I can move out of this mad-house I live in.

good night

ps. happy cinco de mayo.

Spring's unexpected "gift"

The anithistamine I took to combat these ridiculous allergies I've developed suddenly this year was a little blue pill.

So..... if my allergy symptoms persist for more than four hours, should I contact my doctor?

tehehehe.

Strawberries should not take 17 bites to eat.

They just shouldn't be that big.

Yesterday I had a massive strawberry the size of an apple. It was mildly horrifying. And it didn't taste all that good either. I think when the mad scientists who engineer these mutant fruits put the giantification gene in the strawberry, they didn't add an increase-flavourification gene to account for the super bigness of it.

I heard somewhere that they put pig genes into tomatoes to make them more robust or something. PIG GENES?! SWINE FLU! Or, pardon me, H1N1, as it is now referred to as....wouldn't want to offend them pigs eh? Or maybe it was fish genes....? To make tomatoes able to breathe underwater probably. Do you realize what this means? FISH FLU! AHHHH. I can just see the headlines now... "Millions of goldfish are flushed amid reports of FISH FLU sweeping across the globe"

Well, in any case, it seems like the world is becoming an increasingly hazardous place for vegans.

And the moral of this post is to not be a vegan.

That is all.


Edit note: this is the 69th post, and I am neither mature nor boring enough to let that go unannounced. And I'm also giggling like an idiot.