Rockin out to a little Native Land music

Home again.

O look, the Junos (like the Grammies but only for Canadian musical types) are on. O Canadian music, how I love thee.

Except for Nicklecrap, sometimes known as Nickleback, but only to the supremely dim and those who have zero taste in music. I loath Nicklecrap. And what's with the mop Chad Kroeger insists on wearing on his head? O no wait, that's just his hair. Or that small animal, possibly a vole, clinging to his chin? Wait. Ya that's his beard.

I could go on, but I'll restrain myself.

And they did something right again this year and got Russel Peters to host again. Excellent.


In other news, I discovered today that all it takes is a big camera with a Nikon neck strap to officially be a photographer. I ran around my aunt's bridal shower with my camera, snapping pics, and everyone seemed to think it was my job or something.
Meh, works for me.

Whatever it is, it's ok.

I am currently in the land of my grandparents' house, aka the land of the billions of family members. It's lovely. Just one massive garbling sound constantly in your ears, layers of conversation all melding together to make this nearly indecipherable hum. If you haven't been around it before, I would imagine it's rather overwhelming....but I grew up with this and I can actually have about seven separate conversations at once now. And fight off a heard of little cousins at the same time.

On the subject of family, I told my fifteen year old brother the other day that I was bi.....not sure why exactly, but it was one of those days I suppose. We were ranting to each other about how stupid our parents are, and I just was like "Dude, are you a judgmental person?" and he said, "No, you're my sister, whatever it is, it's ok."

That's probably the best thing my brother has ever said to me. Ever..

So I told him. And now I kinda wish I could take it back....just so I could tell him again and see his face all over again....it was quite hilarious. This weird expression that said "I have no idea how to react to this...."

And that's about all. It's the weekend, so I haven't been to school. Haven't been able to implement plan "Fuck it and do what I want *" yet. HAHa.



Right then. Night-o.

*look at the comments.

I shouldn't bother doing things.

I am now toting around three giant molasses cookies with me in my backpack.

FUCK ME. This is so ver ver stupid and I knew it would happen.

So, yesterday Starbucks had those cookies...so I bought three, and then proceeded to class where I knew the girl would be, since we have that class together. And then, imagine, I didn't do anything with the cookies. I scarcely did anything with my mouth...like talk or anything.

I mean, I did talk to her. But ya...

This is stupid. I quit and I give up and so on.

I can't even eat the cookies myself because I can't eat wheat. They look verily delicious.....

dumb and doubly so.

A force to be reckoned with: Dumb Brain.

My brain is a funny thing. And also annoyingly loud sometimes. It's constantly yelling at me to something or other....and then scolding me for doing stupid things and showing all the ways in which I could have not made myself look like an incredible idiot.

It also doesn't help that there are two very distinct voices vying for attention: the insane side, and the less insane side.

They are constantly striking up deals between them too. For example: Insane side told me to start this blogge. Less insane side told me to use a false name and to never, under no circumstances, no matter how drunk I get, tell anyone I know about it. These deals are usually in the form of insane side thinking something preposterous, and the other side negotiating with it until some sort of compromise can be reached.

Sometimes reason steps in to mediate, but she isn't exactly a permanent resident around here.... so most of my reasoning ends up coming from a part of my brain that is "less insane" than the other part. Results are mixed.

These days, insane side has been putting forth its case as to why I should stop hesitating, and just ask out the girl I like. This, of course, is a really stupid idea, says less insane half, because you don't even know if she's...well you know, gay or bi or something along those lines. This is pretty much how the dialogue followed after that:

Insane: But it's driving you nuts? Don't you just want to know one way or another?
Less Insane: Yes, but if she's strictly strait, this will only serve to freak her the fuck out, and then where will we be?
Insane: But you're the one who said to jump into puddles and so on! Follow your own advise for goodness sakes.
Less Insane: That's just dumb.
Insane: No it's not. You're dumb.
[some back and forth childish bickering ensues before they get back on track]
Insane: I'm just gonna do it while you're not paying attention. How would you like that?
Less Insane: NO! Please don't. We're really just waiting for a sign as to if she's strait or not....can;t you just be patient? The goddess cards said-
Insane: I don't give a rat's fuck what the goddess cards said. We're asking tonight. [He (I've determined that the insane side is most definitely a dude) means this tonight, as in today.]

Well, it was quite long and drawn out, but in the end, Less Insane made Insane agree to only asking if Starbucks has molasses cookies.

What the fuck for? you may ask. Well, because this girl really likes those cookies, and I was going to buy one (or maybe 17?) and give it/them to her after she looks at me like I'm a crazy person for ever thinking she'd go out with me, in a lame (sooooo lame) attempt to make the situation less awkward and more.... um... yummy?

That's all well and good, but I'm pretty sure it'll take more than a few cookies to make me ever ask her out. It'll take a boatload of courage that I don't have.... and quite possibly an alignment of the planets....

Irish time!

Oy there. Luck of the Irish to yous, happy St. Patrick's day.

So, I'm one quarter Irish, and I think that that should make me one quarter more lucky than people who aren't Irish at all. But sadly this is not the case.

But then again, why would it be so? I don't see why the Irish are lucky at all...in fact they really aren't. Didn't they have some sort of famine involving a lack of potatoes? And then they've got the IRA. But they've got leprechauns so maybe that makes up for those other thingers.

O well. I say, if you drink enough, you'll always feel like you're getting lucky.

Boring pretty much sums it up.

Hiiiidy ho. It's been a while hasn't it?

Nothing interesting has really happened recently....nothing to write about that isn't completely depressing.

.......

And ten minutes have now elapsed since I wrote the previous statement, and I still can't think of anything. Except for maybe yesterday. It was interestingish. Went with a few friends to the park area beside the Parliament buildings and basically stared it down as we did something them peeps would most certainly not approve of. And arrest us for.

Then, we were ridiculously hungry with munchies extraordinaire, so we went to eat.

Other than that, classes were boring (mostly due to the person I most wanted to be there being MIA allllll week. And the person who did show up was annoying in the extreme sense of the word).

O and this is the 50th post, so yayaaaa.

The end.

Life, as it happens, happens.

Sometimes, life happens. And when it does, it is usually in the form of a severe kick in the teeth.

It's when we've just been kicked and our teeth are hanging at awkward angles from our gums, and our hands are clasped over our lips trying and failing to restrain the blood that is gushing out from between our fingers that we're given perspective....we see what is really important.

So, having just been kicked by life, who apparently knows kung fu, I, for the moment anyways, have a little clarity. So here is the philosophy I will live by, at least until time has passed and faded the memory of being kicked.....

1 - Make sure the people you love know you love them.

2 - Life is too short to be too patient. I mean, patience in the right balance can be a good thing, but too much and you never get anywhere. And then that can lead to number one not being followed...

3 - Dance it out. Every once in a while, just go nuts.

4 - Over-thinking is a waste of time. That's kind of like the "no too much patience" one, but different. Patience is one thing - you make a goal, you slowly work for it....blah blah. But over thinking is when you agonize over a decision, you can't make a choice because your brain is yelling conflicting thoughts every five seconds, and they keep colliding in the centre of your mind and exploding any semblance of resolve you may have had into little bits of fear and uncertainty. And soon, those little shards of fear and uncertainty make their way into every thought you have, every thing you do is laced with anxiety..... so what I guess I'm saying is, when you see a puddle, just fucking jump in it ok?


That's probably not all....it remains to be seen how much of my own advice I take.


These things should really all be obvious. But it sometimes takes life - or rather the end of it - to kick you into seeing.

coffee, assignments, skipping....fml

I am a silly foolish girl who has had what is likely the equivalent of her mass in coffee this week.

And imagine, despite all the coffee, I haven't won Roll Up the Rim once.....BOO....

Yesterday I told someone the reason why I don't allow myself to skip classes. It is a very good reason. I don't skip even if the lecture could potentially be the death of me, because once upon a time in elementary school, I said to myself "What is the harm of just procrastinating this once? I'll never do it again....." Since that day, I have literally never stopped procrastinating.

So if I ever think to myself, "why not just skip this once?" I may NEVER GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN.

Well, it happened this morning that my serious procrastinating problem caused me to skip lecture. I was sitting on my couch, furiously battling sleep and willing my assignment I started in the wee hours of the morning to write itself instead.

And now, I'm thinking I never want to attend the lecture I missed again.

Funny how that works....

I say SIT. No essays please.

Happy March.

March holds no interest for me anymore, since I am no longer in high school, so I don't get March Break anymore. So really, what is the point of March? Exactly, there is no point.

At least two of my four calenders are in agreement as to what I should do this month:

Canadian Wildlife Foundation Calender: "Sometimes the most vital and urgent thing you can do is take a complete rest" - Ashleigh Brilliant

Zen Calender: "Just sit and see what happens." - Buddha maybe? I dunno...

So I can only deduce from them that I'm supposed to sit and rest ALL MONTH, for the sake of my own health, and see what happens. Unfortunately I can already tell you what will happen if I 'just sit' all month long.....I'll fail out of school and my skin could quite possibly start grafting to whatever surface I sit on for those thirty-one days. And that would suck. To the maxx. So thanks Buddha and Ms. Brilliant for not being so brilliant after all.

Nevertheless, I'm taking the advice to heart, and I am sitting here on the couch like a lazy thing on lazy tablets, not doing the essay I have due later today. It is in severe danger of not being done, and I blame that entirely on 50% of my calenders. It's not my fault if I'm easily influenced to do stupid things by quotes I see.