A force to be reckoned with: Dumb Brain.

My brain is a funny thing. And also annoyingly loud sometimes. It's constantly yelling at me to something or other....and then scolding me for doing stupid things and showing all the ways in which I could have not made myself look like an incredible idiot.

It also doesn't help that there are two very distinct voices vying for attention: the insane side, and the less insane side.

They are constantly striking up deals between them too. For example: Insane side told me to start this blogge. Less insane side told me to use a false name and to never, under no circumstances, no matter how drunk I get, tell anyone I know about it. These deals are usually in the form of insane side thinking something preposterous, and the other side negotiating with it until some sort of compromise can be reached.

Sometimes reason steps in to mediate, but she isn't exactly a permanent resident around here.... so most of my reasoning ends up coming from a part of my brain that is "less insane" than the other part. Results are mixed.

These days, insane side has been putting forth its case as to why I should stop hesitating, and just ask out the girl I like. This, of course, is a really stupid idea, says less insane half, because you don't even know if she's...well you know, gay or bi or something along those lines. This is pretty much how the dialogue followed after that:

Insane: But it's driving you nuts? Don't you just want to know one way or another?
Less Insane: Yes, but if she's strictly strait, this will only serve to freak her the fuck out, and then where will we be?
Insane: But you're the one who said to jump into puddles and so on! Follow your own advise for goodness sakes.
Less Insane: That's just dumb.
Insane: No it's not. You're dumb.
[some back and forth childish bickering ensues before they get back on track]
Insane: I'm just gonna do it while you're not paying attention. How would you like that?
Less Insane: NO! Please don't. We're really just waiting for a sign as to if she's strait or not....can;t you just be patient? The goddess cards said-
Insane: I don't give a rat's fuck what the goddess cards said. We're asking tonight. [He (I've determined that the insane side is most definitely a dude) means this tonight, as in today.]

Well, it was quite long and drawn out, but in the end, Less Insane made Insane agree to only asking if Starbucks has molasses cookies.

What the fuck for? you may ask. Well, because this girl really likes those cookies, and I was going to buy one (or maybe 17?) and give it/them to her after she looks at me like I'm a crazy person for ever thinking she'd go out with me, in a lame (sooooo lame) attempt to make the situation less awkward and more.... um... yummy?

That's all well and good, but I'm pretty sure it'll take more than a few cookies to make me ever ask her out. It'll take a boatload of courage that I don't have.... and quite possibly an alignment of the planets....