You look like a fool to me.

Hello all.

HAHAHAHAH. who am I kidding eh?

Right. So, I'm not in my city, I am definitely somewhere else. Visiting the relations on my padre's side of the fam. Whenever I am here I am very thinkity. Pensive, if you wish me to use a word that actually exists. I mean, I am, in general, stupidly stuck in my head, imagining on one subject or another, but here.....whooosh. Every thought is much more...ermmm.....profound feeling due to the wilderness and trees and bears and antlered animals that I'm surrounded by.

I know, I know....I'm so deep today. Get over it.

Perhaps it is because I'm so removed from the people I know (other than the insane fam, unfortunately) when I'm here, I can get a little perspective on the crap situations I have developed for myself back home. Perspective isn't always a good thing either. Sometimes it just allows you to see how much worse something is. HA. That's always a dart to the bum and a kick to the shins.

In the immortal words of Ezekiel (seriously, they're in the Bible, and that book will outlive us all and continue being a pain in the ass. But that is a pain for another day) "GIRD YOUR LOINS!" because I'm nowhere near done. Or you could avert your eyes....that would probably be the healthy thing to do.

Aww....the great wilds. Fresh air, rabid foxes, immense snow drifts.... last time I was here, there weren't snow drifts. And much of what was on my mind then is still on my mind now. Except now it has festered and made itself a dilema. Totally not fair. I didn't ask for the thoughts to morph into a dilema, and yet BOOM. Brains are crap.

Last time I made the trek to where I currently am, I had my mind on a boy to take my mind off a girl. Fucked up, ainit? But that is what twats do when they are scared. I kinda sorta halfway started this thinger with a girl (and no, I don't care if you don't get what a "thinger" is. Figure it out) but then I jumped ship after going slightly mad. I freaked out. So instead, I focused my energies on this lovely dude I'd had a thing for before, to take my mind of the guilt of running away from the girl who really did not deserve to be dropped like a dropped thing (ei, a rotten apple, a bad habit, a flaming sack of shit, etc.).

And then - wait for it - I freaked out about him too. And ran. Figuratively, obviously. I didn't fling down his hand and scamper away in the middle of a date or anything without so much as a backwards glance, if that's what you were envisioning. No no no. even I am not that much of a deranged person.

Anyhoo. That is the barely understandable and abridged version of what was going on in the useless object sitting atop my neck last time I was here. So, now all that and then some has putrefied and now, I'm thinking of it all, but it's kind of like soup. All sloshed together and nasty with bits floating in it.

I don't want to eat the soup, and there is no mental dog to feed it to. The solution to this irksome thought-soup will end up being to pour it on someone's head. haha.

o what larkss.

Right. So, enough of that. I'm just confusing myself, so I can't even pretend to fathom the confusinosity in which you find yourself right now.

CAUTION: THIS IS MY UNGRACEFUL SEGUE INTO A DIFFERENT TOPIC.

Ok. These days I've been perusing blogs willy-nilly. Commenting on random things, ad hoc, to ermm...spread my seed across the internet? Also, I'm not exactly sure on how one is supposed to use the term ad hoc and I think that it might make little to no sense in the context I just put it in. Whatevs. I stumbled upon a many a blogge chronicling the pregnancy and birth of a child. No wait - that came out wrong: the pregnancy of a woman and then the birth of the child. Clearly not the pregnancy of a child. Though, I'm sure there are those out there too, as of yet undiscovered by me.

But there was one "look at us, we're having a baby" blog that I found hilarious, mostly because it's mostly not explicitly about the upcoming child. This Luke character will find his sense of humour particularly essential to him whilst his wife be prego.

So, being a web-weirdo like most people who use the internet for purposes other than Google, I commented on his post, mostly because he didn't seem overly hopeful that any of his family would bother to do so. and he totally put a link to ME in his next post. Probably out of gratitude. Or the hope that I will never visit his page again.

He called me "Someone who is definitely not Alice." HAHA. O, my ribs do crack with laughter. And I'm not sure of blogge etiquette (o btw, I write blogge now, because the aforementioned blogge says it is more elegant?) but perhaps I should give Luke of the Kinderbloggen a shout-out?

I am so internet savvy, it scares me sometimes.

Well, now you know all my secrets. Not.