a word on the last day. well, more than one (obvs!)

WELL. It is the last day of the year.

In New Zealand, they have gone through much more of the day than we over here have.

Just thought I'd point that out.

Anyhoo, it's the very last day of the year, and I do believe that I successfully changed a Shitload in the past 366 days (it was a leap year, yes?)....though not necessarily for the better. In fact, the fam - well, mom and padre - would probably say I've become a pain in the rear. I too will say I have become a pain, but that is because I currently have a headache and I am IN PAIN.

No, I haven't really changed for the better. I still run away from uncomfortable situations. I drop off the face of the earth at the first whiff of something fearful. And no, I'm not talking about ogres and deadly spiders and rabbid wolves. Those things I can deal with, provided I have my rabbies shot and/or anti-venom. I'm talking commitment issues I didn't realize I had. I'm talking letting people down when I most want to keep my promises.

But, that's boring, and I'm sleepy. And I have to figure out where I am going to ring in the new year. I can say for sure though: I will not be getting kissed when the clock strikes twelve. On the other hand, I will be wearing red underwear, as that is supposed to be good luck or whatever.



If I was famous, would I have such fear of further abandonment?

HA. Did you catch that one?

O, btw, I am home now. Already missing the wilderness and the mayhem of my scattered families.



This is random in a way. That is why it is in italics. And also because it has a rhyming scheme, and that always looks better in italics.

Part of everything you don't want to know ends up on my lips
Half of every thought you never think ends up on my mind
Pieces of you you never see haunt my dreams at night.
But you went out without a fight.

Fractions of the art you never made end up burned on my retinas
Part of every sentence you never said end up in my mouth
Pieces of the life you don't live plague my every waking thought.
And I'm making something out of what is not.

That's all.